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Facing Loss During the Holidays

Posted on by Fr. Peter

Those of us who have lost children can dread the holidays (by which I really mean Christmas/Nativity). The focus seems to be so much on family togetherness and yet here we are with empty places. The temptation is to mourn (inappropriately) and feel self-pity. Granted, Christmas can be a difficult time. I myself buried a baby 10 days before Christmas last year so I know whereof I speak. But we really must beseech God that we not fall into temptation during this time. Orthodox know that there are always greater temptations during the fasts. We are also vulnerable to temptations during times of great grief. The demons do not have the holidays off.

Accept that some people will suggest that you need to “move on” by which they mean “forget you ever had that child”. In all honesty no one really wants to be around someone who is grieving at Christmas. It’s uncomfortable and makes you feel sad instead of happy. This sounds overly simplistic, but that’s really at the heart of the matter. I have said many times that it is easy to watch someone grieve compared to actually grieving with them. Grieving with someone is hard work but an act of mercy.

Be vigilant in prayer. You will be braced for the obvious triggers of grief but there will always be little surprises. When I got out the stockings last year to hang for my living children I saw the “baby stocking” that had been mine as a child. In our family it is always the property of the youngest. I had expected it to belong to someone else that year, not our five-year-old. Stockings also triggered grief for my sister. She suffered an adoption loss and that year when she got the stockings out there was the one for the child she was not able to bring home. God is there with open arms to comfort you when you feel those intense stabs of grief. Always turn to him.

It is folly to think you will be able to forget your child(ren) at Christmas. You’re not going to forget and you can do some very silly things trying to. It is better to face it head-on. Say to yourself, “What am I going to do this Christmas to remember my child(ren) in a good way?” I had to face this last Christmas for the first time when I was remembering not only the child I had just buried, but the child I buried before Pascha the same year. Here are some suggestions:

  • Purchase or make an ornament for your child. Hang it on the tree every year.
  • If you choose to hang a stocking for your departed child, make sure you do not leave it empty on Christmas morning. This will cause you a lot of pain. Fill it with something to give to someone else as an act of charity. You can make this a tradition too.
  • On Christmas Eve sing the troparia for everyone’s patron saints. Include your departed child(ren) as well.
  • Perform acts of charity in memory of your child(ren). Donate things to a women’s shelter, a pro-life organization, a shelter for pregnant women, a hospital’s NICU, etc.
  • Donate an icon to your parish in memory of your child(ren) (with the blessing of your priest).
  • In general, doing something for someone else less fortunate is a classic way of feeling better yourself. The possibilities here are limitless.

[Please leave any additional suggestions in the comments.]

If you are the friend or family member of someone who has suffered a loss and you are trying to help, look at the above list for suggestions. I was incredibly touched that people made ornaments for my boys last year. To receive a card saying, “a donation has been made to X in memory of (your child)” would be a lovely thing too. Be sensitive when thinking of things to do. I do not suggest making a stocking or other item usually intended for a living child unless the person has asked you to.

Remember that your child is spending Christmas in Heaven! He or she is singing with the heavenly host. Christ will always help those who turn to him. Acknowledge your pain and ask Christ to comfort your grieving heart.

h/t Lost Innocents

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What do you want me to do for you?

Posted on by Fr. Peter
Jesus heals the Blind Man

In the eighteenth chapter of the Gospel of St. Luke, Jesus comes into contact with a blind beggar along the side of the road.  The man hears that Jesus is coming to town and as he passes by the man yells out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”  Those around him tried to get him to quiet down, but he yelled all the louder, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”

Jesus stopped and asked that the man be brought to Him and asked the man, “What do you want me to do for you?”  And the man replied, “Lord that I may receive my sight.”  Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight, your faith has made you well.”  We then see that the man followed Jesus giving glory to God.

What is this story teaching us?

The blind man sitting along the side of the road is us, those who call out to Jesus for mercy, those of us who are looking to follow Him, but like the rich young man in the chapter before this, something is holding us back.  Perhaps we are blinded by the world and all that the world requires of us.  Perhaps we are blinded by wealth or materialism.  Perhaps we are spiritually blind, we want to follow, but we want to follow under our own rules.  Perhaps we are so overwhelmed by sin that we have no way out.  So we sit on the side of the road and call to Him as he passes by, “Jesus, Son of David have mercy on me!”  These words make up part of the Jesus prayer that should be on the lips of every Orthodox Christian.

For us to be true and faithful followers of Jesus we need to be spiritually whole.,   Our spiritual eyes are blind, and we need them to be clear so we can follow Jesus.  We need to study Scripture and the faith of the Church.  We need to participate fully in the sacramental life of the Church to include frequent reception of the Eucharist and confession.  The season of Advent is a excellent time to come back to confession!

Notice that Jesus does not just heal the man.  Jesus knew what this man wanted before the man even knew.  Jesus does not force his ways on anyone, He presents his life-giving message and lets the hearers decide for themselves.  Jesus asks the man what he wants and gives the man time to answer. Jesus grants the man his sight because of His faith that if he simply asked it would be granted.  He healed the man not for the sake of the man, but for the furtherance of the Kingdom of God!

But what of those who are trying to silence the man?  The fathers write that these are the voices that throughout the generations, have been trying to silence the Church.  There have always been those who have tried to silence the Church.  The Church has always been under persecution as Jesus told us it would be.  Recall when he told his followers to remember that the world hated Him before it hated them!

We need to resist the world when it tells us to be quiet.  The world needs our voice, but we need that voice to be laced with love and compassion for those who are lost.  We need to show the world the love of Christ and the compassion that He showed to people we need to show, even to those who hate us and are trying to destroy us.

We need to be like the blind man in the story, the voice of one crying in the wilderness, and regardless of what the world wants of us, we need to shout the message at the top of our lungs.  We need to continue to live lives that show the world it is possible to be a follower of Jesus in this crazy world we live in.

What do you want me to do for you?  This is the question that Jesus asked the blind man, and he answered that he wanted to be whole.  That should be our desire, to be made whole and be able to follow Jesus giving glory to God.

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Ancestral Sin versus Original Sin

Posted on by Fr. Peter
Abbot Tryphon

The fact that we Orthodox do not accept the doctrine of original sin as espoused in the West, does in no way suggest that we do not need to be born again (born anew). We believe, as did the Early Church Fathers, that we inherit only the results of Adams sin, not his guilt. This is known as ancestral sin because the sin of our first parents, Adam and Eve, resulted in our inheritance of death, sickness and an inclination toward evil. Christ’s death on the cross has its power, not in an atonement sacrifice, but in the conquering of the power of death. Death is trampled down by death.

It is by Christ’s resurrection that a way was made for us to be transformed by contact with the Living God, thus becoming his children by adoption.

Although we do not refer to ourselves as “saved”, as do Evangelical Christians, we nevertheless believe that we are in need of salvation. (We believe salvation is a process.) Our understanding of  sin in an ancestral way, which is distinct from the concept of original sin and the hereditary guilt that required, consequently, a substitutionary atonement-type of sacrifice, separates us doctrinally from Western Christianity.

Had there not been a fall, the Second Person of the Holy Trinity, the Logos (Word) would still have incarnated into the flesh and taken on our nature. For it is by this condescension by our Creator God to take on the nature of that which He created that we are given the opportunity of being deified (Saint Paul said we shall become as gods).

Our journey into the heart culminates in theosis, whereby we are joined in everlasting communion with the very God Who created us. Saint Athanasius of Alexandria said, “The Son of God became man, that we might become god.” In II Peter 1:4, we read that we have become “…partakers of divine nature.” Saint Athanasius further says that theosis is “becoming by grace what God is by nature.”

With love in Christ,
Abbot Tryphon
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Introduction to the Monastic Life

Posted on by Fr. Peter
Mother Magdalena

Mother Magdalena from the Monastery of the Transfiguration in Ellwood City, PA was the speaker at a Fall retreat at St. Ignatius Antiochian Orthodox Church in Franklin, TN. She spoke on prayer and life in the monastery.

I have listened to several of her talks thus far and the one I would like to draw your attention to is the one in the Introduction to the Monastic Life.  This is a useful talk even for those not considering a monastic vocation.  I have often said we need more Orthodox monastics in America and this talk will give you a little glimpse into the life of one of the oldest woman’s monastery in America.

Listen tot he talk here

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Archbishop Nicolae on the Nativity Fast

Posted on by Fr. Peter
His Eminence, Archbishop Nicolae

For Orthodox Christians, the middle of November means the beginning of the Advent Fast. It is a time of preparation for the great feast of the Incarnation of the Word, a preparation which needs to be analyzed at the beginning of each fast.

”As we all know, there is a physical fast and there is a spiritual fast. The physical fast is when the stomach abstains from food and drink. The spiritual fast is when the soul abstains from evil thoughts, deeds, and words,” says St. Tikhon of Zadonsk. We must begin by fasting from food and drink, knowing well that this is just the beginning of fasting. Physical fasting helps to put our passions to death. For having less and poorer food denies the body the sensation of being full. The body that is less nourished does not manifest inclinations toward the passions. This is a reality which must be experienced during fasting. We cannot experience this with only a few days of fasting, but only after prolonged effort can we feel that our bodies are in such a state.

St. Tikhon then speaks of spiritual fasting: “True and pure fasting is abstinence from all evil. If you wish, O Christian, for the fast to be beneficial, then while you are fasting physically, fast also spiritually and fast continually. As you curb your stomach, in the same way curb your thoughts and your evil passions. Let your mind fast from vain thoughts. Let your mind fast from keeping account of evil. Let your will fast from your evil desire. Let your eyes fast from seeing evil: “Turn my eyes away from worthless things” (Psalm 118:37).

St. Tikhon exhorts us to a spiritual fast which represents the most profound aspect of fasting. Much more difficult, but totally necessary if we wish to fast profitably. For both physical fasting and spiritual fasting ought to yield spiritual fruit. And this fruit is peace of soul, and greater and more heartfelt prayer that brings us closer to God. We fast out of love for God and the desire to feel Him near. We fast in order to gain the light our minds need to understand spiritual and earthly problems. We fast in order to experience what the Savior Himself went through in the wilderness, and then told us that “man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” We fast from earthly things in order to nourish ourselves on spiritual things.

St. Tikhon concludes his brief remarks on fasting with an insistent exhortation: “Repent, and cease from every evil word, deed, and thought, adopt the virtues, and you will always be fasting before God.”

Let us seek to fast according to St. Tikhon’s challenge, and to prepare ourselves appropriately for the feast of our Lord’s Nativity!

+ NICOLAE

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Sermon ~ Too Much Baggage

Posted on by Fr. Peter

The Gospel of Luke 18:18-27

At that time, a ruler came to Jesus and asked him, “Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” And Jesus said to him, “Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone. You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery, Do not kill, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother.’ ” And he said, “All these I have observed from my youth.” And when Jesus heard it, he said to him, “One thing you still lack. Sell all that you have and distribute it to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” But when he heard this he became sad, for he was very rich. Jesus looking at him said, “How hard it is for those who have riches to enter the kingdom of God! For it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” Those who heard it said, “Then who can be saved?” But he said, “What is impossible with men is possible with God.”

I am always amazed at the symbolism that is used in Scripture.  Most of the symbols that Jesus used is speaking would have been common knowledge for those who were listening but for us sometimes the meaning is lost.  This is true with the Scripture passage chosen by the Church for the 30th Sunday after Pentecost.  The Gospel pericope is chosen from St. Luke’s Gospel and the 18th chapter.

In this passage a man approaches Jesus and asks Him what he must do to have eternal life.  Jesus tells him to obey the commandments, and the young man replies that he has been obeying them all his life.  After pressing Jesus more His reply is that the young man should sell all that he has and follow him.  Jesus goes on to say that it will be easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into heaven.

What is this eye of the needle that Jesus is speaking about here.  For those listening this would have been obvious but as I mentioned before this is sort of lost on us.  The eye of the needle could mean many things but most commentators agree that it is most likely the gate of a city.  The gate was built of a certain size that would not allow a fully loaded camel to get through.  This is the point of the passage, we need to unburden ourselves.

Just before the Great Entrance of the Divine Liturgy we sing the Cherubic Hymn.  In this Hymn we say, “Let us lay aside all the earthly cares of life,” and this is how we unburden ourselves.  It is the earthly things that burden us.  For the young man in the story it was his riches that kept him from following Jesus and for us it might be something else.  Salvation is impossible for those who are attached to the earthly things of life.

What is not being said here is that we need to divest ourselves and give it all to the poor, no, we need to care for the poor as we are commanded too, but what is being asked of us to keep it all in perspective.  Stuff is not bad, it’s what that stuff does to us that is.  Are we controlled by our stuff or do we control our stuff.  Can we live without it or will the world end for us if it is gone?  This is what is being asked of us as followers of Jesus Christ.

What baggage do you have that needs to be set aside so you can truly follow Jesus?

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Sustainable Lifestyle

Posted on by Fr. Peter
The Monastery Garden at the End of the Season

The Orthodox Monk has a particular attachment to the earth.  It is difficult to speak about attachment, and the monastic as our whole life is about detachment but in this case the monk has this attachment.

The Orthodox Church has a fairly well developed theology around the care for the earth.  We view all of creation as just that creation, created by God, and as God said in Genesis it is good.  We are stewards of this creation, and it is our responsibility to care for it.  God gave us dominion over the creation, but that dominion comes with an immense amount of responsibility.  We have to care for the land so that the land will produce what we need to survive.

As an Orthodox Monk, I try to live a sustainable lifestyle.  What does this mean?  We are to try to live a life that leaves as small a foot print on creation as possible.  We do this in many ways.  Here at the monastery we keep the heat at a low temperature and wear a sweater when it gets cold, but we also cover the windows and make sure that the heat we do use is used in the most efficient way.  We limit the amount of water that we use.  How many of us run the water whilst we are brushing our teeth in the morning, or do not fill the washing machine when we do a load of laundry.  Our machine has a setting that limits the amount of water, or I wait until I have a full load to wash the clothes.  In the warm months, we use the clothesline to dry the clothes, and I am considering an indoor clothesline for the winter months.

We try to turn off the lights in the rooms we are not using or only use the light when needed.  Several years ago we switched the lights we could to compact florescent lights.  These use less power and last longer.  They need to be disposed of properly, so that causes us to recycle.

The Town we live in has an excellent recycling program.  It is a single stream program, so we throw all of our recycle stuff into one large, 90 gallon, container that is collected every other week.  This makes the task of recycling remarkably simple.  We compost all that we can so that limits the amount of waste that is heading to the land fill.  Yes this requires additional effort, but once you establish a system it works fantastic and the soil that is created from this composting is perfect for the garden.

We are fortunate that we have a large piece of land here at the monastery.  We are able to raise chickens and have a rather large garden.  I was able to can several pints of summer squash, zucchini, and bread and butter pickles this year all from the garden.  The tomatoes that were grown were used as they were harvested and the basil has made a delightful addition to many of the recipes that we cook.  Anyone, no matter how small a plot of land you have, can produce something one it.  If not consider shopping at a farmer’s market.

Buying local food is more expensive but in the long run it is better for you and it uses less fuel to transport it.  Yes it’s satisfying to have all sorts of fruits and veggies available all year long but at what cost?  Studies show that eating what is grown locally and what is in season is far better for you than the diet most of us have now.  Commercially grown fruits and veggies are produced with pesticides and all sorts on garbage that is weakening our immune systems and causing all sorts of health issues.  Looking the farmer in the eye and asking him what he uses on his plants is worth the price of admission.

We have plans this year to use the rain barrels that we purchased several years ago to collect water to water the garden.  We have plans to raise chickens for meat and turkeys this year and to keep up with what we already have.  Garden expansion is also in the works, and I am using the “off season” to plan what that will look like in the spring when we are able to plant again.  The ultimate goal here is to produce enough of our own food, or to sell what we do not use, to be able to sustain our life here.

Recently, on his podcast The Morning Offering, Abbot Trypon of All Merciful Savior Monastery in Washington State talked about sustainability and what they are doing at their monastery.  It is a short podcast and well worth listening too.

This about what you can do to reduce your foot print and aid in the sustainability of the earth that we all share.

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Thank You, O Lord!

Posted on by Fr. Peter
Protopresbyter Alexander Schmemann

Protopresbyter Alexander Schmemann celebrated the divine liturgy for the last time on Thanksgiving Day. This was particularly appropriate since Father Alexander had devoted his whole life to teaching, writing and preaching about the Eucharist; for the word eucharist in Greek means thanksgiving. At the conclusion of the liturgy, Father Alexander took from his pocket a short written sermon, in the form of a prayer, which he proceeded to read. This was a strange occurrence since Father never wrote his liturgical homilies, but delivered them extemporaneously. These were his words, which proved to be the last ever spoken by him from the ambo in Church.

Thank You, O Lord!

Everyone capable of thanksgiving is capable of salvation and eternal joy.

Thank You, O Lord, for having accepted this Eucharist, which we offered to the Holy Trinity, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and which filled our hearts with the joy, peace and righteousness of the Holy Spirit.

Thank You, O Lord, for having revealed Yourself unto us and given us the foretaste of Your Kingdom.

Thank You, O Lord, for having united us to one another in serving You and Your Holy Church.

Thank You, O Lord, for having helped us to overcome all difficulties, tensions, passions, temptations and restored peace, mutual love and joy in sharing the communion of the Holy Spirit.

Thank You, O Lord, for the sufferings You bestowed upon us, for they are purifying us from selfishness and reminding us of the “one thing needed;” Your eternal Kingdom.

Thank You, O Lord, for having given us this country where we are free to Worship You.

Thank You, O Lord, for this school, where the name of God is proclaimed.

Thank You, O Lord, for our families: husbands, wives and, especially, children who teach us how to celebrate Your holy Name in joy, movement and holy noise.

Thank You, O Lord, for everyone and everything.

Great are You, O Lord, and marvelous are Your deeds, and no word is sufficient to celebrate Your miracles.

Lord, it is good to be here! Amen.

Source

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Thanksgiving Prayer

Posted on by Fr. Peter

Here is a prayer that can be used at the Thanksgiving Table.  It comes from the Orthodox Moleben Service for Thanksgiving.  Remember on this day that we give thanks to give thanks to the God that created all.

O Lord Jesus Christ our God, the God of all mercies and bounties Whose mercy is immeasurable, and whose love for mankind is an unfathomable deep: falling down in adoration before Thy majesty, with fear and trembling, as unprofitable servants, and now humbly rendering thanks unto Thy loving-kindness for Thy benefits bestowed upon Thy servants, we glorify Thee, we praise Thee, we sing Thee and we magnify thee as our Lord, and Master, and Benefactor; and again falling down before Thee, we humbly thank Thee, supplicating Thy boundless and inexpressible mercy. And in that Thou hast graciously vouchsafed to accept the petitions of Thy servants and to fulfill them, so also grant that henceforth thy Holy Church and this city may be delivered from every hostile assault, and may be granted peace and tranquility, and that increasing in true love of Thee, and in all virtues, all Thy faithful people may receive Thy benefits; and that we may ever offer thanksgiving unto Thee, together with Thy Father, Who is from everlasting, and Thine all holy, and good, and life giving Spirit, God glorified in three persons; and that we may say exceeding good things and sing: Glory to Thee, O God our Benefactor, unto the ages of ages.

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The Entrance of the Theotokos into the Temple

Posted on by Fr. Peter
Entrance of the Theotokos into the Temple

Today is the prelude of the good will of God,
of the preaching of the salvation of mankind.
The Virgin appears in the Temple of God,
in anticipation proclaiming Christ to all.
Let us rejoice
and sing to her:
“Rejoice, O Fulfillment of the Creator’s dispensation!”
Troparion – Tone 4

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